Transitions.

To stay consistent with several of my last posts, as few and far between as they may be, I need to talk about a very important transition. Changes. A transition that I think subconsciously I was putting off simply to slow down time…

My littlest G is sleeping in his own bed, upstairs, in his own room.

My husband and I have never had our kids sleep in our actual bed, but next to it in a bassinet. It’s so much easier those first few months to just reach your arm out, find the paci, feel them breath, get up to feed them when you’re a foot away. Listening to a newborn baby breath in the still of the night warms my soul.

Two weeks old.
Blink.

Five months old now, ready to move more, stretch out, kick, be on.his.own.

So last week we did it. We took him upstairs to his room, laid him down in the crib, he was asleep in less than 5 minutes. My sweet little baby boy, all grown up already, I stayed there for a few minutes just soaking it all in, letting go, transitioning.

Waiting for T.

I take pictures all the time on my iPhone. Capture, reflect back, move on to the next one. I finally uploaded them to my pc today and it was literally like going back in time to relive so many amazing moments. My actual camera does the same thing but it’s as if I didn’t expect on my phone, like that picture I took was to somehow freeze time, but never going to be hung on a wall somewhere. I should scroll them more often, because in the 378 images I have on there I climb a mountain of memories.

Specifically, our last outing with Brooklyn before her baby brother arrived. We loaded up and went to Build A Bear (amazing freaking idea of a store why couldn’t I have thought of that!!!) and out to lunch. I literally can flash back and be in that day.

Mingo arrived in our family that day. Mingo is her pink flamingo’s name, because you see, Brooklyn didn’t want anything to do with bears, or puppies, she picked out a giant pink bird. Which is exactly why I love that kid.

We went to lunch afterwards and I just remember sitting at the table thinking this might just be our last meal at a restaurant as a family of 3.

And I was right.

Later that week, this happened.

1st day of school…

BOTH of my kiddos started school today. What does that mean? It means I’m back at work. I say school instead of daycare because it makes me feel better. Where they go is a great place, awesome teachers, awesome curriculums – rules like, no baby in cribs unless they are sleeping no TV’s, etc…it’s a good place. But it’s not home, and I’m not with them.

I have a great job at a thriving company so I honestly cannot complain at all. It’s just that staying in our pj’s until Ellen was over every morning with a hot cup of coffee and my beautiful babies by my side was amazing. Planning dinners, keeping up with laundry, seeing friends for lunch, rainy days where we baked cookies, played barbies, painted, and watched too much TV….all so incredibly wonderful memories. I cherished my time home this second time around more than ever, knowing it would go by so fast and also knowing it would be my last (while they are babies, at least). I had days where I screamed into a pillow when schedules just didn’t stick and melt downs occured. Thankfully my husband was there to pick up the pieces when he got home and get us all back on track. I don’t really remember those days near as much as all of the fantastic moments I had just being a full time mommy.

I’ve always struggled with this since having kids, as I’m sure most moms do. I don’t believe I’m destined to permanently stay home with the kids, but I do think that maybe through a year old would be absolutely ideal. At this very moment that option just doesn’t exist for me and I have to do what is best for my family in the long run. I’m 100% not trying to be all ‘woe is me’ here as there are hundreds of thousands of moms out there doing this everyday too. And, I do like working. Harder for me to see that at this exact moment because this is literally day 1 back, but I know I like the intensity, the challenge, and the financial reward that goes with having a career.

All things in time always work themselves out. Emotions will calm down, schedules and routines will exist and I’ll still love on my babies every single day as much as possible. The 1st day of school was just tough for me, period.

Capturing.

I’ve been wanting to write a blog post FOREVER. I’ve been wanting to read blog posts FOREVER. I simply just have not done it. I REALLY want to get back on the bandwagon of posting regularly because I feel like I have so much to share with all 29 of you! This might go down in history as maybe one of the longest blog posts ever so pour a cup of coffee and get comfortable.

I’ve been home since the Friday before Ty was born. He was born on Wednesday, June 16th, and I literally thought I would write daily about the adventures of having two babies, summertime, birthday celebrations, graduations and trips. It’s September 14th and all of those things have happened, memories in mind and not on paper. I have to go back to work on the 27th and I simply can’t believe it. To many it may feel like I’ve been on “vacation” (as the young, ignorant boys call it) but to me I literally feel like we just got home with him. He’s growing like crazy, and has changed so much in the short 13 weeks he’s been here. He smiles and giggles almost every time you look at him. He sleeps from about 8:00 p.m. until 4:00/5:00 a.m., and gives us no fight when going to bed.

I keep waiting for that to change because it’s a little too blissful. He’s the littlest G and we are so grateful. Thinking about handing him over to someone else for 40+ hours a week makes me cringe.

Moving on from that topic now to avoid one of those start crying feel sorry for myself sessions. The summer was so much fun for us. BBQ’s with friends, my birthday (DIRTY THIRTY!!!), a trip up to NYC to see family and spend a few days in the city. Our kiddos did great with all of the travel, we spent some time on Long Beach, Brooklyn, then in Manhattan. They rode on airplanes, taxis, cars, subways and were our little traveling soldiers. The oldest of the two had a MAJOR MELTDOWN in Central Park, worst in the history of her life, but that wasn’t anything a few cold beers didn’t fix for Dom and I when we got back to the hotel. She crashed for about 3 1/2 hours that day so clearly we over did it.

On the beach in Long Island
Brooklyn brownstone Dom grew up in
At FAO Schwartz
Both kids passed out in Central Park….heaven.
Ty hanging with Daddy walking the streets

My birthday party was a huge success. To me, at least. Boat on the lake. Kid free for two days. A ridiculous amount of BOOZE. Best friends. Hot sun. Good music. Awesome memories. The hubs worked his ass off to make it all happen, I am a lucky girl to have that man. He makes sure I always know I’m loved.

More important than my birthday was my baby girls 2nd birthday! We had cake at her school, balloons, dinner with our family and a never ending pile of presents for her to rip into. She pretty much has a full vocabulary at this point, does most things ‘ALL BY MYSELF MOMMY!!!!”, is an amazing big sister, and
literally changes every day. I look at her now and know that time won’t stop, it speeds up. I love that girl more than life. 

It’s the changing of seasons I suppose, although to me with this never ending heat wave it still feels like we should all be poolside. But, football games in the background are becoming an all too familiar sound. School has started for everyone, you can just feel the winds of change. Bittersweet for me as it means I’m about to close my final chapter of pregnancies, babies, and mommy time home. For now. Never know what the future holds right? And no, that doesn’t mean more babies.

I am going to try, try hard, to blog more. My world around is so fast moving these days that I feel like if I don’t force myself to capture some of this on paper I’ll forget it all.

Our new normal

I’m tired. I’m not going to lie. And what the hell is up with all of the paid programming that comes on after about 2:00 a.m. Who decided that those of us with newborns or sleep disorders want to watch countless hours of exercise equipment or hair growth programming? Thank goodness for my DVR – I can catch up on Toddlers & Tiara’s, Boston MED, or the new season of Real World. I have to get out of bed and go in the living room when I feed Ty, otherwise we wake up Dom and then he’s up the rest of the night. So far Ty has been doing great, giving me about 3 – 4 hours of sleep without interuption – I get about 6 – 7 hours of sleep total which I would consider fantastic. Even though I’m staring at my television at 2:30 a.m. and would love to be all curled up in my nice, soft comforter I stare at my little guy and cherish the moment. Tired and all I know this will pass quickly, as I watch my almost two year old dump out an entire bag of animal crackers as I sit here and type this.

Our new normal is starting to come together – Dom takes Brooklyn to school M-W-F, then she’s home with me on Tuesday and Thursdays. We fill our Tuesdays and Thursdays with PJ’s all morning, playing upstairs in her room, painting, doing *stickers*, taking care of Baby Ty. After her nap I try to find something else to do that allows her to get outside, although the rain today will make that somewhat difficult. We may curl up on the couch and watch Jungle Book or Nemo for the 134th time. I’ve had to let go a bit of my obsessive need to keep our house clean as I’ve learned quickly that dried cheerios on your favorite rug are the new normal, and a few dishes in the sink don’t hurt anything. Dom reminds me that we do ‘live’ here, so let it be for awhile. I have felt a bit overwhelmed when Brooklyn is screaming for something and Ty is too – those are moments I just take a deep breath in, smile, and give myself a pat on the back for being able to shower and put on makeup that day.

Introducing….

Ty Bentley Granato
Born June 16, 2010
8 lbs 4 oz
21 inches long
Welcome littlest G!

Yes, it’s already been two weeks since the birth of our baby boy. Time is flying, as it always does – but we have just spent the last 14 days learning and loving being our new family of four. I will continue to say that I’m blessed beyond measure. Having our first child was so overwhelmingly special I truly wasn’t sure how your heart allows to love even more beyond that. But, it does, more than anyone can understand until you have two or three or four of your own, but now being a mama of two small little faces makes more proud than ever before. The oldest is turning into a big sister now, learning how to share the spotlight, giving hugs, kisses, and showing her jealous side a bit too as a major meltdown ensues when little brother gets too much attention. For the most part she’s doing amazing and I love watching her turn into the BIG sister I know she will be. The little one is breathing, eating, sleeping, and well – pooping. ALL.THE.TIME. I had forgotten how prepared you need to be at changing newborn diapers, there is always an element of a suprise if you’re not quick enough. Sure we’re not sleeping much right now, our schedule is a bit off, and the house gets messier than ever before but I’m absolutely diving into it all and cherishing every minute. Yes, my type A control freak side is challenged trying to keep up with things, or let go rather, but this time around I find myself more relaxed as I’ve seen with Brooklyn how fast it will all change. His little fingers, toes, tiny baby feet, pudgy face, sleepy eyes will be no more just a matter of time and I’m not going to miss a thing. It’s weird to think that this chapter of my life is now closed – going through pregnancy was truly memorable but I am almost certain I can say I’m glad it’s over. 🙂 I mean, I love the heartburn, puking, uncomfortable 24/7 feelings, but I pass the torch to the rest of you now.

For now I am focused on being a mama of two, my babies, my world.